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Monday, 15 February 2010 02:00

Existential Angst

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Is there a more pressing question than the question and experience of existence...?

Occasionally, late at night, while trying to sleep and failing, I experience an anxiety of existence. I'm aware of my entire body, the entire world, and the whole of reality itself. It's like waking from a dream, or a light going on, or a giant "YOU ARE HERE" sign appearing in the sky. The mere fact that I'm actually real and actually breathing suddenly hits me in the head with a thwack. It leaves me giddy. It causes a brief surge of clammy, bubbling anxiety, like the opening stages of a panic attack. The moment soon passes, but while it lasts it's strangely terrifying.
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Thelma van Rensburg

 

1. ITCH Online Magazine publication of work, issue 04

2. ITCH online magazine publication e.05 http://www.itch.co.za/?article=301

3. ITCH online magazine publication e.07

Website: www.art.co.za/thelmavanrensburg

1 comment

  • Comment Link Deon Wednesday, 24 February 2010 02:00 posted by Deon

    When you experience this 'anxiety of existence', do you experience it as a woman or as a 'conscious being'?

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